A recent study has revealed that the subtle language of love through symbols is far from new. The research traces the origins of “secret signals” used to express affection back over two centuries.
Conducted by British cultural historian Dr Emily Thomas, the study delves into how 19th-century lovers navigated rigid class boundaries and societal expectations using carefully crafted symbolic languages. These gestures — ranging from the gifting of specific flowers to intricate fan movements — served as a discreet medium for expressing romantic interest in a time when public displays of affection were often discouraged or forbidden.
Class-conscious code of love
According to the study, these secret codes were especially prevalent in Victorian Britain and France, where class divisions were sharply defined. While aristocrats might have had more freedom to pursue romance openly, members of the working and middle classes were often forced to keep their relationships hidden from public scrutiny.
“In societies where discretion was vital, symbols became powerful tools,” Dr Thomas noted. “A seemingly innocent flower, a glance, or a well-timed fan movement could convey a message that words could not.”
The gifting of certain objects played a crucial role in this clandestine communication. A red rose might indicate passionate love, while a daisy could suggest innocence or a budding relationship. Even the act of looking into someone’s eyes in a specific way could signal romantic intent.
One of the more elaborate inventions of the time was the ladies’ conversation fan, designed in 1797 by British artisan Charles Francis Bendini. The fan featured a printed alphabet in decorative script, allowing women to subtly spell out messages using particular hand positions — a form of semaphore inspired by naval communication.
From fans to filters
While such secretive expressions of love may seem outdated in the digital age, the study highlights striking similarities between these 19th-century customs and today’s online interactions.
“Emojis, hashtags, and even memes serve similar functions to the romantic codes of the past,” said Dr Thomas. “They allow people to communicate affection — sometimes playfully, sometimes seriously — without being overt or explicit.”
The persistence of coded communication, she argues, reveals how little the human need for emotional expression has changed, even as technology has evolved. Whether it’s a wink emoji sent late at night or a bouquet of virtual roses, digital symbols now carry the same emotional weight once reserved for secret flower gifts or covert glances across a ballroom.
More than just a romantic curiosity, these secret languages also offer insight into the social structures of their time. Dr Thomas explained that the coded symbols reveal how deeply entrenched moral expectations shaped relationships in earlier centuries — particularly for women.
“These hidden languages not only allowed people to express love,” she said, “but also served as a form of resistance against strict social norms.”
The study suggests that much like today’s curated social media personas, historical lovers crafted sophisticated systems to navigate public image and private desire — a reminder that love has always been both deeply personal and subtly performative.
Enduring symbols
While fan signals and flower codes may have faded into history, the instinct to communicate love through symbols clearly endures.
As Dr Thomas puts it: “Whether we’re handing someone a rose or reacting with a heart emoji, we are continuing a centuries-old tradition — using shared signs to say what words sometimes cannot.”
The resurgence of interest in these hidden romantic languages offers not only a glimpse into the past but also a renewed appreciation for the subtle art of saying “I love you” — without ever saying a word.
