In Pakistan, where societal norms strongly emphasize early marriages for women, those who remain unmarried beyond their twenties often find themselves caught in a whirlwind of cultural expectations, economic insecurities, and emotional battles.
While Lahore, a city known for its progressive yet deeply traditional society, reflects changing attitudes, the reality for many women remains riddled with challenges.
Breaking age barrier
Historically, marriage in Pakistan has been seen as the cornerstone of a woman’s identity. However, as educational and professional opportunities expand, the perception of marriage is slowly evolving. According to the Pakistan Bureau of Statistics (PBS), the average age of marriage for women has increased from 22 in 2000 to around 26 in 2024, particularly in urban centers like Lahore, Karachi, and Islamabad. Yet, despite this shift, women who delay marriage—whether by choice or circumstance—often face unwarranted scrutiny.
Lahore, with its mix of modernity and conservatism, embodies this contradiction. Women pursuing higher education or careers are lauded for their achievements but simultaneously questioned about their marital status. This paradox reflects the broader national struggle between tradition and progress.
Pressures
Beyond societal judgment, late marriage brings economic and psychological implications. Many women, particularly those in middle-class households, are expected to contribute financially while also managing the weight of social expectations.
Independence and responsibilities
Women who enter their late twenties or early thirties unmarried often become primary breadwinners. According to a 2024 report by the Punjab Commission on the Status of Women (PCSW), 42% of working women in Lahore contribute significantly to their household incomes. While financial independence is empowering, it also increases family reliance, making marriage decisions more complicated.
"I always wanted to marry for companionship, not out of societal pressure," says Ayesha Malik, a 33-year-old marketing executive in Lahore. "But with my parents aging and my younger siblings dependent on me, I can't afford to think about myself right now."
Emotional toll
The emotional impact of delayed marriage in Pakistan is often underestimated. Women report feelings of alienation at family gatherings, where marriage becomes the default topic. The pressure intensifies with unsolicited advice and match-making attempts.
Dr Sara Ahmed, a Lahore-based psychologist, notes that many women in their late twenties and early thirties experience anxiety and self-doubt due to societal expectations. "There’s an ingrained fear of being ‘left behind.’ Many of my clients struggle with self-worth because their achievements are often diminished by their marital status."
Marriage market and ‘age factor’
Even as educational and career opportunities for women increase, the traditional ‘marriage market’ remains rigid. Women beyond their mid-twenties face a dwindling pool of prospects, with many potential suitors preferring younger brides. A study by the Pakistan Institute of Development Economics (PIDE) in 2024 found that 68% of men seeking arranged marriages preferred women aged 20–25.
"The rishta culture is brutal," shares Maryam, a 29-year-old schoolteacher from Lahore. "I met a man who seemed genuinely interested, but his mother rejected me because I was ‘too old’ at 29."
Redefining fulfillment
Despite these challenges, many women are redefining fulfillment outside traditional marriage norms. Entrepreneurship, travel, and personal development are emerging as alternative paths to a meaningful life. Lahore, in particular, has seen a rise in women-led businesses, with initiatives like the Women Entrepreneurs Network promoting financial independence.
Social media platforms and women’s support groups have been creating spaces for unmarried women to share experiences and redefine societal narratives. Online communities like "Soul Sisters Pakistan" provide solidarity, reminding women that they are not alone in their struggles.
Acceptance and change
While change is gradual, the increasing visibility of single, accomplished women is challenging outdated norms. Conversations around marriage need to shift from an obligation to a personal choice, where a woman's worth is not tied to her marital status.
The resilience of women navigating delayed marriages in Lahore and beyond is a testament to their strength. They are not denied happiness, success, or fulfillment—only redefining it on their terms.
